Tuesday, November 13, 2007

If Aaron had been a pilgrim…



In honor of Thanksgiving, we thought it would be fun to go back a couple hundred years to that first year those brave pilgrims survived the harsh conditions of that new world America, and picture what Aaron would have been like as a pilgrim.

Innovative and clever, Aaron would not have settled for one of those cheapo stick houses. He would have found a way to get the children to cut down the largest pines and made his own modest mansion on the outskirts of the village.



Unlike the rest of the simpletons, he would not have ridden a plain old horse to where he needed to go, he would have strapped a pinwheel motor to the horses' tail and beat everyone to the town meetings.

While all the others would be playing games out of sticks and rocks, Aaron would have found a way to convert a window pain into a viewing box (see the original "Pil-pod") and made all of the children put on plays for him behind the window for his entertainment.

Instead of drinking water or tea, Aaron would have figured out a way to mass produce coffee from corn kernels, and would have shown Squanto his techniques as well.



Finally, instead of eating turkey, or anything else that resembles chicken, Aaron would have opted to kill the only cow on the plantation to serve for Thanksgiving. As he chomped on the last burger he would ever taste, he'd say something like, "Turkey is for the turkeys....us real men eat beef, cause it is so tasty!"

Saturday, June 30, 2007

From Aphone to Iphone

Money-mongers stole this great idea from my brother-in-law Aaron Skrivdawg. It is simply amazing how he just stands by and watches as Apple takes his phone and uses it to make billions, nay, trillions of dollars. I guess that just shows his humility.



Indeed it was originally called the APhone, and it looked a little different, but apple in its underhandedness made a couple modifications in order to justify its steal. Here is what the Aphone originally looked like:




Aaron once again shocks us with his outstanding humility. Thanks for the good example bro!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Where is Aaron/Waldo?




Ever try to google interesting and famous people?

Here are Aaron's famous claim to fames:

Aaron commenting on food: HERE

It is truly amazing what you find...

"Aaron Skrivan (10), when asked by
his VBS teacher, Marie Seifert, if
he had invited any in his neighborhood
to VBS, replied, “I think
they’re all too old.”

Miss Seifert, not to be put off so
easily, pressed him, “Well, how old
are they?”

“About sixty,” replied Aaron.

Check out the source.

"Adam, I really enjoyed looking at this site. I hope that there are more rumors you can find and post. I especially found this one interesting."

Posted by: Aaron at March 24, 2006 01:25 AM

Aaron! What are you doing posting at 1:25am!?

Sunday, April 29, 2007

What Aaron would probably do....




So four people participated in this survey - hope you enjoy...


Guess who the four people are, and then guess who wrote which answer....



What kind of car would Aaron buy in the future?
Something expensive Erika/ A Rolls-Royce Adam/Ferrari Alicia /Astin Martin Me/A Honda Me



What would Aaron do with a million dollars?
Erika Save it after he got a car/ Invest 80% of it in stock and spend the rest buying stuff Me/Buy a Rolls-Royce...or invest it in a booming dot-com company Adam/buy some stuff and invest the rest Alicia


What would Aaron do if he found someone lying on the side of the road?
Me: Call the cops/ Erika: Call an ambulance/Adam: keep going and tell someone about it/Alicia: Give him money


What would order if he went into Starbucks?
Adam: A cafe Americano/ Alicia: a double shot or a double shot can/Me: Flirt and ask for a doubleshot espresso/Erika: Double tall extra shot espresso with light foam/


What would Aaron do if the doctor prohibited him from caffinee?
ME: Drink it anyway/ Alicia: go home and decide the doctor didn't know what he was talking about/Erika: Freak out/ Adam:Throw coffee in his face.


What will Aaron's future wife be like?
Adam: I've been wondering the same thing myself.../ Me: Very pretty, probably smart, taller than him, obsessed with pink and would carry a little dog in her purse/ Alicia: someone who we all wonder if she ever eats and they will adopt vietnamese children so she doesn't get fat/ Erika: A super model, amazingly sweet and with a brain/


What will Aaron invest his future money in?
Me: Oil/ Alicia: Skriv Corp/ Erika: A buisness of his own/ Adam: Future cars


Would Aaron rather: A) Go camping with no access to a bathroom or B) Eat inside a dirty McDonald's with a sneezying homeless person?
A) Adam: because he has a greater chance of escaping/ Me:Camping/ Erika: Camping/ Alicia: eat at Mcy D's because it would be over sooner


Would Aaron rather: A) Spend the next two years at CHS B) or the next year at Heritage?
Erika: Definitely heritage/ Me: Spend two at CHS/Alicia: CHS because nothing is as bad as Heritage/ B) Adam:because he'd forget how much worse it was


Would Aaron rather live in A) Catecombs or B) Ghetto --
Alicia: Ghetto because they are preppy and cooler/Adam: Ghetto...because I picture him calling Catacombs gay/Me: Ghetto/Erika: Ghetto

Friday, March 16, 2007

Dreaming an ode 2 aaron

So last night I went with a few friends to see an apartment that I was hoping to rent. We walked in, and all of a sudden I realized that it wasn't an apartment, but actually Aaron's townhome. I thought that was pretty weird, but since I was there I figured I'd check out his sweet MG-BGT and the new lincoln. So we walked into the garage and since no one was home I decided I would take the lincoln out for a spin -- since I hadn't yet. Here is basically what I saw when I walked into the garage:




Meanwhile two of the other guys had taken the MG. I remember thinking to myself, "Man, Aaron would not like that at all, and neither do I." I don't know why I thought me taking the lincoln would be ok, but it was a dream, right? Well, I park the Lincoln outside near the MG, except that it turned out that Aaron had traded in his car for a green porsche instead!



And what was even more shocking was that these dummies had taken the car off road and dented the fender!
Now I was mad, and I told them that they would have to pay for it all. Next I remember them all getting mad at me. Oh well, I guess that is a lesson that we should never steal cars just to give them a test drive. Lesson learned. Oh, and then I found five dollars.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Something strange is going on....

You'll have to look closely to see what I'm talking about. There are more than a few things wrong with this picture.

Lets see if we can list them all:
1) Aaron is not actually looking at the dog. 2) Aaron is doing somesort of butterfly stretch. 3) The dog is not only wearing a Christmas colar, but is also wearing Bailey's antlers, which really, no dog should ever be wearing. 4) the head band is neon green 5) Bentley's ears have dissapeared
6) Bentley has no eyes in this picture 7) he has no noes in this picture 8) he has no mouth in this picture.
As you can see something is wrong here. I don't know exactly what is going on, but I just know it ain't right.

Friday, February 9, 2007

The Hero of Heros

Most people would not risk their lives for a poor little dog wandering in the middle of I-5, but that is just most people. Pictured below is the "Hero of the Day" according to New York Times. This guy risked his life to save little "Baxley" aka "The Bents" or sometimes even "Smackers". I don't know why this guy wasn't on the State of the Union address rather than that train hero guy. If I were Bush, I'd give him a two thumbs up.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Just a great guy...

You see, that is what I like about Aaron. He is just a normal guy making food for the homeless on his day off. In this picture, he had just finished running a marathon for "Kids Suffering with Constipation", and he offered to come grill some food for about another 200,000 people here in Wright Park. This guy is Amazing!

Why you should vote...


for Aaron.

Aaron Skrivan is the man for the job. He knows politics like his dog knows the pigs foot. He is just that good. He not only single-handedly fought off liberals from a union in Washington, but he successfully has begun his own political party sponsered by SkrivCorp (© 2007). Due to popular demand, he is running for president against Hillary Sodom Clinton, and he will win, because not even democrats are dumb enough to vote for her. In addition, a recent gallop poll found that 99.99999999999999999999999109999119999% of Americans times 9999999999999999999999999(you don't even know) 999109999999101010101010109999 will vote for the well known Christan business man. With a measly .01% for the Sodomite.

So two thumbs up for future President Aaron Skrivan! Horray!


Thursday, February 1, 2007

What you are about to read...

can be harmful for your ego. Read with caution, because what you are about to see is the single most successful highschool student in the world. I present to you....A-Ron Skrivan.

Stats:
Age 4: buys his very own car with money he snatched from the offering plate.



Age 16: pays back the offering
Age 18 quits his 4-year job and starts working at a lumberyard (Gray's Lumbar).


age 18: gets a raise from $9-$11! Congratulation AARRON!
age 18: was caught runing through this earthquake to save an elderly woman

age 18: Goes to Covenant College to fend for a scholarship which he single-handedly won (with God's help of course) the freakin first business scholarship that Covenant offered! He even got a call from President Nielson!
age 18/19: Visits Nathaniel and Alicia in CA! Yeah!
Age: 23 buys out Donald Trump and Google with his pocket change.